Friends change, how to handle it even if you did not want it to happen

Being a teenager is difficult. Parents and teachers are not much help when you are having a problem, they may try but they just don’t “get it”. When I have a problem it’s my friends that help me and give me advice. I can’t tell my mom that I think Ashley was giving me dirty looks at lunch; she would just say “so”. My friends would be helping me to find out why Ashley was giving me dirty looks and they would understand why I even was bothered about it. By the way, Ashley wasn’t giving me dirty looks but that isn’t the point. The point is your friends and how much you need them and when friends change and you don’t it can be almost like a death. And in a sense it is, it is the death of your friendship and getting over it takes time.
Friends change for several different reasons. Lots of the times after elementary school you will notice the changes in your friends. When I started Jr. High I wasn’t sure if it was my friends who changed or if I had changed. I think it was a little of both. The first year of Jr. High seems like the year of the “big” change. Maybe it’s all the new people you meet, new likes and dislikes but whatever reason when you have been friends with someone for so long and suddenly they begin to change right before your eye is very difficult. It helps if you have other friends that see the changes also. That way you have someone to talk to about it and also someone that understands how hard it is to not have that person as a friend anymore. It is a weird  to walk down the hall and see that person that you were so close to, that was going to be your friend forever and not stop and talk but walk right on by, maybe just a small “HI” or a quick head nod, now that hurts.
Some of the reasons your friends may change can be that they have decided they want to be gothic and you don’t like gothic style, not that you don’t like people that are gothic just not the style. Or they may change in a very dangerous way, like they may begin to smoke, drink alcohol and do drugs. This is the kind of change that is the hardest to see a friend go through, but hard as it is and as much as you miss them, don’t begin to do the same so you can remain friends. If you begin to smoke, drink or do drugs you will lose a whole lot more than a friend.
Now just because you are not friends, does not mean you are enemies. And you might just need a break from each other to explore other types of friends. You will have new friends along with old ones that can help you with the pressures in your life. Over the years you may find that even though you don’t want the friendship to change it just does. And one of those times the friend changing might be you. If you do change, which I know you will, change to better yourself or change to explore different styles and interests. Don’t change in ways that could harm you or your future. Change can sometimes be good even though it doesn’t always feel like it. Life is full of changes just don’t lose yourself along the way.

Crossing over, how to make friends in other clicks

Making friends can be a hard thing to do sometimes. It isn’t as easy to make friends as it was when you were younger. When you were younger you could make friends anywhere and at anytime. At the park playing on the slide was always a good place. How many “best friends” did you meet there? I can’t even count how many friends I made playing in the sand, but every time I would tell my mom the kid I had been playing with was my new best friend. I didn’t have a clue to what my best friends name was but it didn’t matter. Now it does matter and now you are not five years old. There is no slide, no sand and sometimes you think if there were maybe it would be a whole lot easier.
There maybe several reasons you have for wanting to be friends with a group of people. That group of people may have a cheerleader or a student body president and the people in that group seem to be the most popular, prettiest and the people you would most want to be friends with. But just because they seem to be the prettiest and most popular doesn’t mean that you will become the prettiest and most popular girl in school if you are friends with them. You should first ask yourself do I have common interests with this group of people. A common interest is why people begin friendships in the first place. Remember the park, the common interests were we both loved sliding down the slide and we were both five years old. If the people you want to be friends with enjoy the same interest as you that is also a way to start a conversation, which then can lead to friendships. Participating in extracurricular activities is another way. If the group of people you would like to be friends with are active in sports and athletics, try out for the basketball team or the volley ball team. Even if you don’t make the team, you will make friends just by participating in the tryouts. Now if it is the cheerleader group you want to be friends with, try out for cheerleader or join the spirit club at school. You will meet new friends just by showing your school spirit plus you will have a lot of fun.
Now if you don’t have the same interests as the people you want to be friends with, then why do you want to be friends with them? Do you think you could pretend to be interested in sports or cheer-leading? You might be able to for a short time but not for too long. Is it because you feel like if I were friends with that group I will be more popular, more liked or more intelligent? And you might very well be more popular and more liked if you became friends with the people that you think are, but at what price?
If you do not share the same interest and goals, you will have to pretend to be someone that you are not. And when it comes to making friends even five year-olds don’t pretend they are something that their not.
So be yourself, don’t try to act like you are interested in sports when you are really interested in chess. Instead of trying out for the basketball team, join the chess club. You may not be as popular but you will be a whole lot happier. You may even find a best friend and with any luck you will know that best friends name. Best of all you won’t have to empty the sand from your shoes.