How can I let him know I like him?

As a teenage girl you experience hormones, and there are going to be times when the best way to characterize you is “boy crazy.” So, when you are crazy about a boy, you want to let them know so that you can determine if he likes you too, and if you should take it up a notch, meaning start dating, hanging out more, etc. However, sometimes as a girl, it can be scary to let a guy know you like him. The possibility of rejection can be scary. Thus, many girls struggle with how to let someone know you are interested, without looking like a fool if you get turned down. Finding this balance is difficult, and the reason so many “games” are played in dating, especially dating amongst teens. Boys are no different in this, and so the following are some great tips for how to let someone know you like them, without putting yourself in too much risk:

1. Some casual flirting. One of the best ways to clue a guy in to your interest in him is to flirt with him. Casual flirting goes a long way. So, engage him in some witty banter. Touch his arm when you talk to him. Laugh, share little secrets to create some intimacy. Be a little more physical with him, such as give him hugs, etc. However, one word of caution. A girl labeled as a “flirt” will have little success with this tactic when she actually likes a guy because she won’t be treating him any differently than she treats other guys. So, flirt with just him.

2. Initiate contact with him. When you seek someone out, make a point of talking to them, sitting by them, and spending time with them, it becomes rather evident that at the very least you enjoy their company. In most cases if you seek them out often enough they will figure out that you like them. So, when you are school, make a point of talking to them each time you pass them in the halls. If you are hanging out in a group setting, be sure to initiate conversation with him. You approach him, don’t always wait for him to approach you.

3. Be direct, but not too blunt. If you like a guy, subtlety does not usually work. So, instead of waiting for him to get the hint, put yourself out there, but not too much. Don’t say; “I like you, do you like me?” Do say, “You are fun, I like you, we should hang out.” That puts it out there that you want to spend time with them and gives them the opportunity to meet you half way by asking you for your number, or asking you to hang out at a specific place and time. If he responds, “Sure,we should sometime.” you may want to put a lid on your feelings and see if he ever follows through. He may want to sometime, but he may also be too polite to tell you he would rather not. So, at this point, the ball is in his court, keep your interest level in other regards the same, but do not extend an invitation again. If he responds, “Sure, what are you doing this weekend?” then you have a go ahead!

One thing you have to remember when you are letting a guy know that you like him is that guys do not do as well with hints, suggestions, or subtleties. They communicate in a more direct way, so to help them understand your feelings, mixed signals is a poor idea. So, you have to take a little risk, and let them know you are receptive.

Can I really be “one of the guys”?

The balance in friendships between teen boys and teen girls can be a difficult one to find. Platonic friendships are not always possible, and often times they leave one person or another in limbo wondering where they stand. This is often the case when it comes to the girl who hangs out with all the boys. Is it really possible for this girl to be “one of the guys?”

The answer is no. Girls and boys are biologically different, so when it comes right down to it, a girl will never really just be one of the guys, however, there are times when she fits in so well she might as well be. The following is a look at how to be “one of the guys” so that you can enjoy your friendship with boys without the hassle of love triangles, etc.:

1. You can’t be interested in any of the guys. You will not be one of the guys if you like one of the guys. If you like one of them it will create a slight tension. Even if it is not evident, or you never say anything, you will not be able to interact with them the same way another guy would, and thus you aren’t truly “one of the guys”. So, if you want to be part of a group of guys, you have to keep feelings under control.

2. The guys can’t be interested in you. If a boy likes you, he is not going to treat you like one of the guys, as that would be frustrating and confusing to him. If he likes you, he wants you to be a girl, and so he would not treat you like a guy, or at least there would be an underlying tension to it.

3. You have to share common interests. The term “one of the guys” is usually applied to the girl who can hold their own in the sport of choice, the activity of choice, or the male conversation. So, if you want to be “one of the guys” you have to be able to hold your own in whatever it is that they are interested in. If they play video games like a champ, you have to be interested in playing video games, and play as well as they do, especially because boys thrive from competition. If you are not competitive, it will not work to be “one of the guys.”

4. You have to be comfortable with them being guys. You will never be one of the guys if they can’t burp, fart, comment on females, and make suggestive comments around you with out you being offended. Guys interact with one another in ways they do not interact with girls. Generally in front of a girl, their more gentlemanly side comes out, they restrain themselves from being overly gassy, and they do not comment on other female’s anatomy when in the company of a female. So, if you are one of the guys you have to put up with that.

5. You can’t expect them to share in your feminine interests. If you want to be one of the guys, you can’t expect the guys to want to play “girl” with you when you are in the mood to shop, primp, or whatever else it is you might do. Those friendships almost have to stay exclusively male in nature in order for them to continue. If you try to include “the guys” in your feminine pursuits, they will get a mixed signal, and you won’t truly be seen as “one of the guys” any longer. So, paint your toes on your own time, and talk boys to other girls, not to the guys.

If you can do this, you have a shot at being “one of the guys”, but do you really want to compartmentalize your life like that?

How to move on after a guy has dumped you

Almost everybody has been dumped at some point in their life.  It’s just a part of dating.  You have to break up with someone eventually, unless you’re planning to marry that person.  But that doesn’t make it any easier, especially when you don’t feel like it was time yet.  Maybe you were still totally in to the guy who dumped you and now you’re crushed.  But you can’t wallow around, eating ice cream and watching sappy romance movies forever.  You have to move on.  And here are some suggestions how to move on after a guy has dumped you.

  1. Keep your friends around.  Having good friends in a time of emotional crisis is imperative.  But this means that when you’re dating a guy you can’t ditch your friends.  You need to still leave room in your schedule for “girl time.”  This way, if your boyfriend dumps you, you still have a strong supportive network of girlfriends waiting to help you through this hard time.
  2. Let yourself cry.  I know, if you let yourself cry then it seems like he has won.  But every girl needs to let her emotions out.  If you don’t then they’ll get all bottled up and you’ll be miserable.  Just try not to choose an inopportune moment like the middle of algebra class to burst into tears.
  3. Don’t make excuses.  One of the worst things you can do to yourself is make up reasons why he broke up with you or what his problems were at the time.  Just let it rest (at least for now).  In a few weeks when you’re both getting over the other, you can start thinking about asking him why he did it.  But for now, you both need time to move on.  He has feelings too and if you had any type of happy relationship at all, he’s probably struggling a bit as well.
  4. Don’t get nasty.  Just because you’ve been dumped doesn’t mean that the guy who did it is a scumbag.  He might be.  But you might be just as at fault as he is.  Don’t go around school telling everyone what a jerk he is.  That just makes you look bad.  Even worse, it will make him take every semblance of nice thought he might have for you and turn it into a mean thought.  Yes, it’s sad that you’ve been dumped.  But trash talking your ex isn’t going to make things better.  So if you’re upset with him because you feel like you’ve been wronged, just keep your mouth shut.  Get a diary and write your feelings in there.
  5. Talk to your parents.  Yes, they might seem ancient right now.  But your parents have been in lots of relationships before and it’s a pretty sure thing that they’ve been dumped.  Your parents might have some good advice for you and be able to help you sort through your feelings.  Plus, parents are usually much more understanding of a grumpy teen girl when they know why she’s grumpy (in other words, if you’re going to be wallowing around your house, you might as well tell your parents so they at least let you alone).
  6. Don’t become a hermit.  One of the worst things you can do after you’ve been dumped is to sit in your house and mope.  You need to get out and do things with your friends!  You need things to distract you from your sadness, not remind you of it.  Call up old friends and go to a movie (just avoid the romantic ones).  Go hiking.  Whatever it is, just get out of your house and do something.

And remember, he’s not the only guy in the world.  There will always be others, so cheer up!

How to get him to talk to you

So all your friends are dating and you have this guy that you really like.  He’s really cute and cool and likes all kinds of things that you like too.  The only problem is that you’re afraid to talk to him!  You’re not sure how to get his attention and you’re way too shy to just walk up to him and ask him on a date.  What would be really great is if he would notice you and start talking to you.  But you get so flustered and nervous when he’s around that usually you just try to be invisible.  What should you do?  How can you get that special boy to notice you?

Well, first of all, you should know that he probably already has noticed you.  If you’ve noticed him around all the time, the chances are pretty high that he has seen you in school with your friends.  Who knows- maybe he even likes you too.  It’s quite likely that he’s too shy to say anything to you too.  So don’t freak out.  Everybody is nervous to talk to girls or boys they like.

Before you decide to try to get him to talk to you, there are a few things you should find out about him.  Most importantly, you should know if he has a girlfriend or not.  If he does, sorry girl, you need to move on.  If he doesn’t, you’re free to continue pursuing.  You should also have a general idea of the kinds of things he likes to do and who his friends are. This will tell you a bit about the kind of person he is and let you know if you really want to date him or not.

So here’s what you need to do.

  1. First, chill out.  Don’t get so stressed out when he’s around.  He’ll notice if you’re always jittery when he’s around and he’ll think you’re weird.  Just be calm.  He’s just a boy.  He’s just a person.  He gets nervous too.
  2. Next, be confident.  Everyone likes people who have good self-esteem and are secure with themselves.  People will notice that you are confident and it will make your personality shine.  Working on your confidence will also help you be less nervous when the boy you like is around.
  3. Third, be yourself!  This might be the most important tip of all.  You must be yourself no matter what.  Don’t let the desire to date some boy change who you are.  If any boy, no matter how cool or hot he is, doesn’t appreciate your personality then he’s not worth dating!
  4. Fourth, flirt with the boy you want to notice you.  But if you’re flirting with him and want him to talk to you, don’t flirt with other boys.  Just him.  If you’re still too nervous to actually talk to him, you can try making eye contact with him in class or smiling at him when you walk by in the hallway.
  5. Make friends with his friends.  If your circle of friends includes the guy you like, it will be much easier for you to get to know him better.  Also, if you (or your friends) are friends with his friends, you can send your girl friends in “under cover” to find out what he thinks about you.  One of your friends can ask one of his friends if he likes you.  He’ll find out that you asked about him and then if he likes you, he’ll work up the courage to talk to you.

So let’s say you’ve followed these steps and he’s actually talked to you.  Now you need to get to know him before you start dating.  It’s important that you build a friendship first so that your relationship with him will be a good one.

Getting a date for the dance, what you should know

So the big day is coming up: it’s almost time for the dance that everyone’s been talking about.  Everybody’s talking about who they’re going with and what they’re going to wear.  Except for you.  Because you still don’t have a date for the dance.  You’ve had your eye on this one special guy that you’re hoping will ask you…but you’re still waiting for him.  You’re totally on edge all the time lately.  You’re nervous that he’s not going to ask you and that you’ll not get to go to the dance at all.  Or worse- that some awkward guy you don’t even like will ask you and your friends will make fun of you for years.  There must be an easier way!  How can you get the perfect date for the upcoming dance?

Well, here’s what you should know.  First, be daring!  You can’t wait until the last day to ask someone (or be asked by someone).  By then all the good guys are taken (maybe even that special someone).  If you have your eye on someone, you need to work up the courage to ask him to go with you.  The worst thing that could happen is he’ll say no- and that’s not really that bad.  You’ll find someone else in no time!  But you’ll never know unless you ask him in the first place.  If you don’t have someone already picked out, choose someone that you know you can have fun with.  You don’t want a dud or a guy who hates going to dances.  You don’t want a guy who will cause a lot of drama.  Sometimes the hottest guys can be the worst ones to bring to a dance.  You’re not picking your soul mate out here; you’re choosing a dance partner.  Be cool about it.

Next, if you’ve decided to ask your chosen guy out, be creative.  Don’t just call him up and mumble a quick “wanna go to the dance with me?”  Think of a sneaky or exciting way to ask him.  Send him on a scavenger hunt or decorate his room with balloons with a message hidden inside.  It will get him excited to go with you and tell him how fun and cool you really are.   If he says no, you should go to the dance anyway.  If there’s time, maybe think of asking someone else out.  If there’s not time, go with a group of your friends anyway.  That will show him all the fun he’s missing out on.

Third, you should always remember to be yourself.  If you’re too shy to ask the guy yourself, you can do a few things to get his attention.  But it’s very important that you don’t try to change your personality or your likes and dislikes just for a guy.  Flirt with him when you’re around each other.  Smile when you walk past him in the hall and make an effort to talk to him when you can.  Don’t go overboard though- you don’t want to scare him off.  Establish a friendship with him and then do things together.  Then, when the time of the dance is approaching, find some time to be alone together.  He’s more likely to ask you out when you’re not surrounding by hoards of people.  Maybe even bring up the up-coming dance and see if he says anything.  If he still doesn’t take the hint (and you know that he likes you) you might need to be the one to ask him to go.

Once you’ve got your date arranged for the dance, all you have to do is prepare yourself to have a good time.  Remember to be yourself- no one likes a poser- and have a good time!

Question: Do guys like sporty girls, or girly girls better?

If you have ever wondered what a guy is thinking, now you get the chance to ask. The following is a guy’s answer to a teen girl’s question:

Question: Do guys like sporty girls or girly girls better?

Answer: If we could have it our way we someone who is both. It would be nice to have her want to watch football with us, and then get all dressed up to go out too. Obviously though, sometimes this is asking too much. If we have to choose between the two, we almost always go with the girly girl, but we almost always say we would go with the sporty girl.

I think it would be better to just explain the attraction to both, and then you can see why we like what we like.

The sporty girl is a lot of fun. We know that she is up for whatever, and that we can do the stuff we like, like long boarding, surfing, hiking, playing sports, playing video games, etc. We don’t have to worry that she is going to hate it, because we know that if we want to head into the mountains and hike up to a waterfall, she isn’t going to complain about getting sweaty and dirty.

We also know that we aren’t going to have to listen to her personal version of style magazine, or hear about some new hair removal procedure, or whatever. We like that we can talk, play, and watch sports with her.

The girly girl is great too. We like that she is always looking hot! We like her painted toe nails, soft skin, and that she always smells nice. We also like that she has to rely on us. Okay, we are guys, we want someone who is going to make us feel needed. The damsel in distress act really works for us. We are okay with you not being able to pump your own gas, it is actually endearing, and we don’t want you to stink like gas anyway.

We like that the girly girl is going to be eye candy for us to show off. We like what a good kisser she is, and that she is fun to look at. We also like that we can relax and watch movies together, go out to eat, or hit up the mall.

So, why do we like one over the other? Initially the sporty girl is more attractive to us because she is simply more fun. However, we have our guys for poker, games, and being sweaty and dirty. Frankly, when it comes to girls, we want them to look and smell their best. Sure we want to include them in the active things we like, but if we have to choose, coming home to the beauty queen usually wins out.

How to steal our hearts: Be the vixen that is a little bit of both. We want the girl who will drive the motorcycles, wrestle in the dirt, and beat us at Mario Kart, but does it wearing heels, having their hair and nails done, and smelling like a rose.

Question: Is long hair better?

As a teenager you probably have some questions you wish you could have answered honestly by the opposite sex. The following is a look at a question asked by girls to guys, and their answer, free of the bias of catering to what you want to hear.

Question: It seems like most guys like long hair better than short on girls. Does it depend on the girl, or in general is one better than the other?

Answer: While every guy’s opinion is going to differ in some degree, as a whole, it seems that our gender is much more attracted to long hair. Long hair is almost always more attractive than short hair. So, don’t cut your hair.

Of course there are always some exceptions to that rule, but don’t think you are the exception, you probably aren’t. Celebrities that have short hair and still look hot have professionals doing their hair, make-up, etc. They dress awesome, and have a rockin’ body. So, if you are going to cut your hair short, you better have someone to do your make-up, wardrobe, etc. and get a personal trainer so that you have a rockin’ body to take our mind off of your short locks.

This doesn’t mean you can’t look good with short hair, you probably do, but you probably look a lot better with long hair. Even if you think you look better with your hair short, or think it is easier to do, and you look nicer when you have short hair, we don’t mind you just pulling your hair up when you are in a hurry, we like it long!

Honestly, long hair has so many benefits. You can wear it a million different ways, which we like to see, it keeps things interesting. It means you can have a pony tail, which is hot! Wear it long and straight, curled, up, down, braided, etc. We like that about long hair because it means a different look each time we see you. While short hair is cute, it seems like it has a lot less options, and is just not as fun, or attractive.

We like to touch your hair, and long hair is better for that. Unless you have unhealthy long hair that is all gross, long is best. Just be sure that you keep is shiny, silky, and soft. Split ends are not really very attractive, so healthy long hair is the qualifier.

Most guys are not big fans of the long hair past the butt. We want your hair to be long, don’t get us wrong, but we do not want to see your hair dragging on the ground. Unless you have incredibly beautiful hair that is super healthy and strong, having it past the top of your butt is just too long. In fact, most of us think that is kind of gross.

We want to be able to wear our hair longer without risking having hair longer than yours! We don’t want anyone to mistake us for dating another guy because you wear your hair too short. We also do not want you to borrow our gel. Long hair is a feminine characteristic, and we love it!

Why is being needy/clingy a turn off?

Questions: Why is being needy or clingy a turn off?

Answer: Guys like their space, they want to spend time with you, but they don’t want to have to. It seems like girls have a hard time understanding that we can like you and not want to spend all of our time with you at the same time. Basically a needy or clingy girl is the kind of girl that wants to know where we are and what we are doing all of the time. We want to have our freedom still.

Guys like doing stuff with other guys, and they are going to act different around girls then they are around their guy friends. So, if the girl is super needy or clingy, and is always around, it can be hard to hang out with our friends.

We get made fun of for it if our girl friend is needy or clingy. When we hang out with our guy friends, they make whip sounds, and act like we are “ball-less”. Even if they wish they had a girlfriend who cared enough to be clingy, they are still going to make fun of us, and we don’t like it. So, that is another reason we don’t want you to be needy or clingy.

We want to have our personal space and time, and so when a girl is too clingy, even if we totally like you, we don’t want someone who is going to constantly call and text us about nothing. If you call or text us or always are with us, like you are attached at the hip, it can just be annoying. We don’t care if you call us if you have something to say, but we don’t want to have to be with you every second. We want to be independent still, and want you to be as well.

No matter how much we like a girl, if she start “mommying” us, and checking in on us, and insisting on talking to us all day about everything, we get annoyed, and sooner or later, the things we liked about her pale in comparison to how annoying we find the possessiveness.

So, being needy or clingy is a turn off because we still want our own space. We want our friends that are separate from your friends, or our friends. We want to be able to drop you off, and go home and watch the highlights, or play Zelda without having to answer your texts or calls the whole time. As much as we like you, having time away is critical to us, and if you don’t allow it, or infringe on it too much we will likely decide you just aren’t worth it any more.

Find some friends outside of us, get a hobby, and have stuff to do when we aren’t around so that you do not always need us.

What signals do guys give that they like someone?

Questions: What signals do guys give that they like someone?

Answer: We give you extra attention. That is pretty much what it comes down to. We don’t have any secret thing we do if we like you, we just spend more time with you.

Flirting is a part of it, we will probably flirt with you more, and find more opportunities to flirt with you.

More contact and touching. When we like someone, we want to be around them, and we want to touch them. Usually we will touch you more while we talk, we will hug you when we greet, we will put our arm around you, or sit close to you on the couch. Basically we are going to look for opportunities to touch you more. This is not sexual, but we will offer you massages, or we will put our hand on your back when you leave a room before us, or we will stand with our hand on your shoulder, etc. Physical contact is a big indicator that we like you, especially if we are not touching other people as much.

We make an effort to talk to you, and probably tease you more. When we like a girl we try to get to know her better, and get a feel for her feelings for us, so we are going to seek out opportunity to talk to you. This might mean taking a different route to our classes so we walk by you in the hall and have a chance to talk to you. It might mean sitting by you at lunch. In addition to talking, we will probably tease you. That is one of the tools in our flirting arsenal.

Inviting you to do stuff, not necessarily dates, but as part of a group is another thing we will do if we like you. If we like you, we want to make sure you are where we are, but usually we do not want it to be too obvious, so we will invite you to group stuff, or we will make sure you get invited. For example, we might say, “There is a party tonight, maybe I will see you there.” We usually act non-committal as to whether or not we will even be there.

If you are wondering if a guy likes you, it is really not that hard to tell. If he is hanging out with you and is being nice to you, there is a good chance he is interested in some way. If a guy is interested in you, he is going to approach you, spend time with you, etc. He isn’t going to try and be your best friend, per say, but at least find a way to spend time around you. So clue in, if he did not spend much time with you or talking to you before, and he is now, he probably likes you!

What should I do, and not do, to get his attention?

Girls employee all kinds of methods to get a guy’s attention. There is the outgoing approaches, the damsel in distress approach, and a whole lot more. But what approach do guys really like? The following is a question posed by a teen girl, and answered by a teen boy.

Question: What should I do, and more importantly not do, if I want to get his attention?

Answer: Clearly this is going to be different for every guys, but in most cases I would say that the answer is close to the same.

If a girl wants to get a guys attention she has to approach them and talk to them. This is especially true if she is not gorgeous so we have already noticed her.

One thing that I think girls may misunderstand is that a girl doesn’t have to dress skimpy or slutty to get our attention, but you do need to look nice. It is good to highlight your assets, but you do not have to put them on display. It is more of a turn on to see a girl who takes care of herself, and takes time to get ready then a girl who tries to get attention by showing off her body too much. Basically, even though we like to see a girl in a mini-skirt and tube top, that is not going to get our attention in a positive way as well as a girl who is well groomed and looks really nice, wears fashionable clothes, and always looks her best.

What should you not do? Well, the number on turn off is probably when a girl tries to come on to you forcefully. It is good to give us a heads up that you are interested, but don’t be the girl who gets the reputation of throwing herself at guys, we don’t want to date that girl, and we usually don’t like her.

Don’t flirt with our friends, and don’t work too hard at flirting with us either. Be playful in your flirting, but if you are working too hard for it, then it can be a turn off because we don’t want a girl who is obsessed or so desperate to get our attention.

Not too much make up. Make-up is great for covering up zits and making your lashes longer, etc. and we like when a girl is done up, but we don’t necessarily like seeing too much of it. In fact, if a girl is wearing too much make-up it seems like that is what she is about and it is a turn-off.

She should not cuss, burp, fart or be vulgar. While it will get our attention, it is not a positive thing. We have our guys for burping and farting. We want a feminine girl. While we like when you can hold your own with us in sports conversation, and video gaming, we don’t want to hear vulgarities come out of your pretty mouth.