How can I let him know I like him?

As a teenage girl you experience hormones, and there are going to be times when the best way to characterize you is “boy crazy.” So, when you are crazy about a boy, you want to let them know so that you can determine if he likes you too, and if you should take it up a notch, meaning start dating, hanging out more, etc. However, sometimes as a girl, it can be scary to let a guy know you like him. The possibility of rejection can be scary. Thus, many girls struggle with how to let someone know you are interested, without looking like a fool if you get turned down. Finding this balance is difficult, and the reason so many “games” are played in dating, especially dating amongst teens. Boys are no different in this, and so the following are some great tips for how to let someone know you like them, without putting yourself in too much risk:

1. Some casual flirting. One of the best ways to clue a guy in to your interest in him is to flirt with him. Casual flirting goes a long way. So, engage him in some witty banter. Touch his arm when you talk to him. Laugh, share little secrets to create some intimacy. Be a little more physical with him, such as give him hugs, etc. However, one word of caution. A girl labeled as a “flirt” will have little success with this tactic when she actually likes a guy because she won’t be treating him any differently than she treats other guys. So, flirt with just him.

2. Initiate contact with him. When you seek someone out, make a point of talking to them, sitting by them, and spending time with them, it becomes rather evident that at the very least you enjoy their company. In most cases if you seek them out often enough they will figure out that you like them. So, when you are school, make a point of talking to them each time you pass them in the halls. If you are hanging out in a group setting, be sure to initiate conversation with him. You approach him, don’t always wait for him to approach you.

3. Be direct, but not too blunt. If you like a guy, subtlety does not usually work. So, instead of waiting for him to get the hint, put yourself out there, but not too much. Don’t say; “I like you, do you like me?” Do say, “You are fun, I like you, we should hang out.” That puts it out there that you want to spend time with them and gives them the opportunity to meet you half way by asking you for your number, or asking you to hang out at a specific place and time. If he responds, “Sure,we should sometime.” you may want to put a lid on your feelings and see if he ever follows through. He may want to sometime, but he may also be too polite to tell you he would rather not. So, at this point, the ball is in his court, keep your interest level in other regards the same, but do not extend an invitation again. If he responds, “Sure, what are you doing this weekend?” then you have a go ahead!

One thing you have to remember when you are letting a guy know that you like him is that guys do not do as well with hints, suggestions, or subtleties. They communicate in a more direct way, so to help them understand your feelings, mixed signals is a poor idea. So, you have to take a little risk, and let them know you are receptive.

Friends with benefits

In short, friends with benefits means someone who is not your significant other whom you get the benefits of an exclusive relationship with. To some this means something more than it does to others. In many cases it means a person to make out with when you want some, to others it may mean sex. In any case, it is a relationship with the physical gratifications (to whatever level you are comfortable with), without any commitment other than friendship, and often even lacks that.

So, is friends with benefits a good idea? Never!

This is why: Nine times out of ten, one of the two people involved has real feelings for the other person, and it is not just about sating physical urges to them. They may agree to friends with benefits because they do not think they will ever be able to get more from the relationship with the other person, or their feelings may not develop until after they are already into the friends with benefits relationship. So, because one person almost always wants more, it almost inevitably ends with someone getting hurt, and a “friendship” getting ruined.

It is pretty fair to say that the person who gets hurt is usually the girl. She decides after a while of being friends with benefits that she wants more. If she is going to be “benefiting” the other person, she wants some of the commitment that you get in a real relationship. Often in a friends with benefits situation, the people only communicate when they want to hook up, and have little relationship outside of that. For many guys, this is fine, but for many girls, it leaves them feeling like there is a void, or something lacking. They want conversation, someone to rely on, call, hang out with. However, if a girl is willing to be “friends with benefits” what incentive is there for a guy to commit to more?

The only way a friends with benefits situation is not going to end badly is if neither person likes the other person, which sort of defeats the purpose as it is, as sating physical urges is not nearly enjoyable if you do not like the person, or at the very least are not attracted to the person. The intimacies of physical contact should be reserved for relationships, as they are meant to help those grow, and to provide a bond or connection that will help your relationship improve. When you try to stay only friends, but have that too, you go against the laws of nature in a way. So, friends with benefits doesn’t really work. Eventually one person, or maybe both, will want to be not just friends, but boyfriend-girlfriend.

So, what should you do? Date, kiss, hold hands, and enjoy each other, but when or if it becomes evident that a relationship won’t work, move on. Do not try to institute an only physical relationship.