How can I let him know I like him?

As a teenage girl you experience hormones, and there are going to be times when the best way to characterize you is “boy crazy.” So, when you are crazy about a boy, you want to let them know so that you can determine if he likes you too, and if you should take it up a notch, meaning start dating, hanging out more, etc. However, sometimes as a girl, it can be scary to let a guy know you like him. The possibility of rejection can be scary. Thus, many girls struggle with how to let someone know you are interested, without looking like a fool if you get turned down. Finding this balance is difficult, and the reason so many “games” are played in dating, especially dating amongst teens. Boys are no different in this, and so the following are some great tips for how to let someone know you like them, without putting yourself in too much risk:

1. Some casual flirting. One of the best ways to clue a guy in to your interest in him is to flirt with him. Casual flirting goes a long way. So, engage him in some witty banter. Touch his arm when you talk to him. Laugh, share little secrets to create some intimacy. Be a little more physical with him, such as give him hugs, etc. However, one word of caution. A girl labeled as a “flirt” will have little success with this tactic when she actually likes a guy because she won’t be treating him any differently than she treats other guys. So, flirt with just him.

2. Initiate contact with him. When you seek someone out, make a point of talking to them, sitting by them, and spending time with them, it becomes rather evident that at the very least you enjoy their company. In most cases if you seek them out often enough they will figure out that you like them. So, when you are school, make a point of talking to them each time you pass them in the halls. If you are hanging out in a group setting, be sure to initiate conversation with him. You approach him, don’t always wait for him to approach you.

3. Be direct, but not too blunt. If you like a guy, subtlety does not usually work. So, instead of waiting for him to get the hint, put yourself out there, but not too much. Don’t say; “I like you, do you like me?” Do say, “You are fun, I like you, we should hang out.” That puts it out there that you want to spend time with them and gives them the opportunity to meet you half way by asking you for your number, or asking you to hang out at a specific place and time. If he responds, “Sure,we should sometime.” you may want to put a lid on your feelings and see if he ever follows through. He may want to sometime, but he may also be too polite to tell you he would rather not. So, at this point, the ball is in his court, keep your interest level in other regards the same, but do not extend an invitation again. If he responds, “Sure, what are you doing this weekend?” then you have a go ahead!

One thing you have to remember when you are letting a guy know that you like him is that guys do not do as well with hints, suggestions, or subtleties. They communicate in a more direct way, so to help them understand your feelings, mixed signals is a poor idea. So, you have to take a little risk, and let them know you are receptive.

Can I really be “one of the guys”?

The balance in friendships between teen boys and teen girls can be a difficult one to find. Platonic friendships are not always possible, and often times they leave one person or another in limbo wondering where they stand. This is often the case when it comes to the girl who hangs out with all the boys. Is it really possible for this girl to be “one of the guys?”

The answer is no. Girls and boys are biologically different, so when it comes right down to it, a girl will never really just be one of the guys, however, there are times when she fits in so well she might as well be. The following is a look at how to be “one of the guys” so that you can enjoy your friendship with boys without the hassle of love triangles, etc.:

1. You can’t be interested in any of the guys. You will not be one of the guys if you like one of the guys. If you like one of them it will create a slight tension. Even if it is not evident, or you never say anything, you will not be able to interact with them the same way another guy would, and thus you aren’t truly “one of the guys”. So, if you want to be part of a group of guys, you have to keep feelings under control.

2. The guys can’t be interested in you. If a boy likes you, he is not going to treat you like one of the guys, as that would be frustrating and confusing to him. If he likes you, he wants you to be a girl, and so he would not treat you like a guy, or at least there would be an underlying tension to it.

3. You have to share common interests. The term “one of the guys” is usually applied to the girl who can hold their own in the sport of choice, the activity of choice, or the male conversation. So, if you want to be “one of the guys” you have to be able to hold your own in whatever it is that they are interested in. If they play video games like a champ, you have to be interested in playing video games, and play as well as they do, especially because boys thrive from competition. If you are not competitive, it will not work to be “one of the guys.”

4. You have to be comfortable with them being guys. You will never be one of the guys if they can’t burp, fart, comment on females, and make suggestive comments around you with out you being offended. Guys interact with one another in ways they do not interact with girls. Generally in front of a girl, their more gentlemanly side comes out, they restrain themselves from being overly gassy, and they do not comment on other female’s anatomy when in the company of a female. So, if you are one of the guys you have to put up with that.

5. You can’t expect them to share in your feminine interests. If you want to be one of the guys, you can’t expect the guys to want to play “girl” with you when you are in the mood to shop, primp, or whatever else it is you might do. Those friendships almost have to stay exclusively male in nature in order for them to continue. If you try to include “the guys” in your feminine pursuits, they will get a mixed signal, and you won’t truly be seen as “one of the guys” any longer. So, paint your toes on your own time, and talk boys to other girls, not to the guys.

If you can do this, you have a shot at being “one of the guys”, but do you really want to compartmentalize your life like that?

Players, every girl’s boon

One thing every teen boy seems to aspire to being is a player. The idea of going through women like they are going out of style is appealing. Not caring, not getting hurt, and getting all the loving you can ever want is appealing. However, that does not mean every boy is a player. In many cases their conscience or real feelings get in the way of being James Bond like. So, girls, this means that some boys can be trusted. However, some are players. The following is a look at the typical player.

What is a player?

A player is someone who uses the opposite sex for what they want, but does not have any deep feelings, or emotions for the person. In other words, a boy might act like he likes you in order to get you to make out with him, have sex with him, etc. then he will move on. Most players will not hang around once they get what they want. However, with that in mind, they also know that you are willing to give them what they want, so they may come back to you time and again. This is the real dangers of players. It is like they dangle hope in front of you, empty promises, etc. and then take it away. Each time they return you convince yourself that this time is different, or that they have changed, or you have wised up. This is the power of the player. Generally speaking, a player is a great manipulator.

How can you tell if someone is a player?

First, you have to consider their past. Has the person played any one you know? Usually players have a bit of a reputation, even though they try not to. So, listen to what other girls say, and do not do the typical teen girl thing of “She is just bitter because he dumped her.” It may be true, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a player.

Second, judge their actions toward you. Start with little things. Are they all charm and sweetness when they want your attention, but once they have it, how do they act? How do they treat you in front of other people? Players thrive on secrecy. So, they will meet you for make-outs, will hold your hand under a blanket, or call you, but at school they may act like you don’t exist, they might text, chat, or email you, but actual face to face conversations may be lacking. If they will kiss you in private, they should not be afraid to acknowledge some sort of relationship in public.

Third, what are your experiences with them. If they have used you, mistreated you, or played you before, they are likely to do it again. It does not matter what they tell you, chances are they are lonely, or bored, and you are an easy target. It feels good to believe you are the reason they have changed their wayward ways, but the fact is, most teen boys do not have the maturity or insight to make those kind of changes, and you will just end up hurt.

What to do if you are attracted to a player? Run! Haha, no, your best bet is to simply never give over too much control. As soon as they can mistreat you without you leaving, they will play you. If you want to be the girl who gets the player, you have to be the girl who respects herself too much to get played. This means put your foot down, and don’t get manipulated.

How to tell him he has bad breath

How can you tell your boyfriend that he has bad breath? This is a common problem, and something that many girls struggle with. Do relationships really end over something like breath? Yes, sometimes. Teen boys are often ego driven. They are constantly flaunting themselves, their skills, their manliness in front of other men and in front of girls too. It is similar to the caveman beating his chest. The problem with this is that while it can be cute and endearing, it can also make it very difficult to talk to them about a flaw. On occasion these teen boys have something they could be working on, and their ego and pride gets in the way of letting them hear what you are trying to say. So, what can you do?

The first thing you have to do is take their pride into consideration. Teens in general have a lot of pride issues. If he told you that your hair stunk, how would you feel? Pissed probably. So, recognize that he is going to have pride in the way, so you have to be careful so he does not feel attacked.

The second thing you have to do is forget subtlety, most boys are immune to it. Giving him breath mints, gum, or mouth wash is really not going to work. Most of the time he will just be glad for the gum, and not think twice about why you offered it to him. So, the only way this works is if he says, “Why?” Then you can tell him, and hopefully he will recognize you were trying to be tactful, and he will credit you for the effort and not be upset. But, as a rule of thumb when dealing with teen boys, avoid hints and being subtle. It is not really their communication style.

The third thing you have to do is prepare yourself for backlash. If you tell a teen boy something that is wrong with them, you can almost always expect a return insult. You may not mean it as an insult, but it will usually be taken that way because their pride will bristle. So, prepare yourself for this response so that when they say something hurtful or mean in response, you can ignore it.

The fourth thing you have to do is prop them up. Tell them how wonderful they are. If you are going to tell them something that might punch a hole in their pride, you have to make sure they know you recognize all of the good things about them too. So, do not be too lavish, or ridiculous in building them up, but make sure they are feeling confident and good about themselves before informing them of their breath situation.

The fifth thing you have to do is be straightforward and tell them the problem. This is hard to do, but do not put it off. Simply say something like, “You are so awesome, and I love being with you, but I was hoping you could maybe brush your teeth because I can smell your lunch.” This eases them into it, and still gets your point across. “Your breath is rank.” Is straightforward, but unkind. So, put the blame on their lunch or dinner, not on them.

Getting a date for the dance, what you should know

So the big day is coming up: it’s almost time for the dance that everyone’s been talking about.  Everybody’s talking about who they’re going with and what they’re going to wear.  Except for you.  Because you still don’t have a date for the dance.  You’ve had your eye on this one special guy that you’re hoping will ask you…but you’re still waiting for him.  You’re totally on edge all the time lately.  You’re nervous that he’s not going to ask you and that you’ll not get to go to the dance at all.  Or worse- that some awkward guy you don’t even like will ask you and your friends will make fun of you for years.  There must be an easier way!  How can you get the perfect date for the upcoming dance?

Well, here’s what you should know.  First, be daring!  You can’t wait until the last day to ask someone (or be asked by someone).  By then all the good guys are taken (maybe even that special someone).  If you have your eye on someone, you need to work up the courage to ask him to go with you.  The worst thing that could happen is he’ll say no- and that’s not really that bad.  You’ll find someone else in no time!  But you’ll never know unless you ask him in the first place.  If you don’t have someone already picked out, choose someone that you know you can have fun with.  You don’t want a dud or a guy who hates going to dances.  You don’t want a guy who will cause a lot of drama.  Sometimes the hottest guys can be the worst ones to bring to a dance.  You’re not picking your soul mate out here; you’re choosing a dance partner.  Be cool about it.

Next, if you’ve decided to ask your chosen guy out, be creative.  Don’t just call him up and mumble a quick “wanna go to the dance with me?”  Think of a sneaky or exciting way to ask him.  Send him on a scavenger hunt or decorate his room with balloons with a message hidden inside.  It will get him excited to go with you and tell him how fun and cool you really are.   If he says no, you should go to the dance anyway.  If there’s time, maybe think of asking someone else out.  If there’s not time, go with a group of your friends anyway.  That will show him all the fun he’s missing out on.

Third, you should always remember to be yourself.  If you’re too shy to ask the guy yourself, you can do a few things to get his attention.  But it’s very important that you don’t try to change your personality or your likes and dislikes just for a guy.  Flirt with him when you’re around each other.  Smile when you walk past him in the hall and make an effort to talk to him when you can.  Don’t go overboard though- you don’t want to scare him off.  Establish a friendship with him and then do things together.  Then, when the time of the dance is approaching, find some time to be alone together.  He’s more likely to ask you out when you’re not surrounding by hoards of people.  Maybe even bring up the up-coming dance and see if he says anything.  If he still doesn’t take the hint (and you know that he likes you) you might need to be the one to ask him to go.

Once you’ve got your date arranged for the dance, all you have to do is prepare yourself to have a good time.  Remember to be yourself- no one likes a poser- and have a good time!

Why is being needy/clingy a turn off?

Questions: Why is being needy or clingy a turn off?

Answer: Guys like their space, they want to spend time with you, but they don’t want to have to. It seems like girls have a hard time understanding that we can like you and not want to spend all of our time with you at the same time. Basically a needy or clingy girl is the kind of girl that wants to know where we are and what we are doing all of the time. We want to have our freedom still.

Guys like doing stuff with other guys, and they are going to act different around girls then they are around their guy friends. So, if the girl is super needy or clingy, and is always around, it can be hard to hang out with our friends.

We get made fun of for it if our girl friend is needy or clingy. When we hang out with our guy friends, they make whip sounds, and act like we are “ball-less”. Even if they wish they had a girlfriend who cared enough to be clingy, they are still going to make fun of us, and we don’t like it. So, that is another reason we don’t want you to be needy or clingy.

We want to have our personal space and time, and so when a girl is too clingy, even if we totally like you, we don’t want someone who is going to constantly call and text us about nothing. If you call or text us or always are with us, like you are attached at the hip, it can just be annoying. We don’t care if you call us if you have something to say, but we don’t want to have to be with you every second. We want to be independent still, and want you to be as well.

No matter how much we like a girl, if she start “mommying” us, and checking in on us, and insisting on talking to us all day about everything, we get annoyed, and sooner or later, the things we liked about her pale in comparison to how annoying we find the possessiveness.

So, being needy or clingy is a turn off because we still want our own space. We want our friends that are separate from your friends, or our friends. We want to be able to drop you off, and go home and watch the highlights, or play Zelda without having to answer your texts or calls the whole time. As much as we like you, having time away is critical to us, and if you don’t allow it, or infringe on it too much we will likely decide you just aren’t worth it any more.

Find some friends outside of us, get a hobby, and have stuff to do when we aren’t around so that you do not always need us.

What signals do guys give that they like someone?

Questions: What signals do guys give that they like someone?

Answer: We give you extra attention. That is pretty much what it comes down to. We don’t have any secret thing we do if we like you, we just spend more time with you.

Flirting is a part of it, we will probably flirt with you more, and find more opportunities to flirt with you.

More contact and touching. When we like someone, we want to be around them, and we want to touch them. Usually we will touch you more while we talk, we will hug you when we greet, we will put our arm around you, or sit close to you on the couch. Basically we are going to look for opportunities to touch you more. This is not sexual, but we will offer you massages, or we will put our hand on your back when you leave a room before us, or we will stand with our hand on your shoulder, etc. Physical contact is a big indicator that we like you, especially if we are not touching other people as much.

We make an effort to talk to you, and probably tease you more. When we like a girl we try to get to know her better, and get a feel for her feelings for us, so we are going to seek out opportunity to talk to you. This might mean taking a different route to our classes so we walk by you in the hall and have a chance to talk to you. It might mean sitting by you at lunch. In addition to talking, we will probably tease you. That is one of the tools in our flirting arsenal.

Inviting you to do stuff, not necessarily dates, but as part of a group is another thing we will do if we like you. If we like you, we want to make sure you are where we are, but usually we do not want it to be too obvious, so we will invite you to group stuff, or we will make sure you get invited. For example, we might say, “There is a party tonight, maybe I will see you there.” We usually act non-committal as to whether or not we will even be there.

If you are wondering if a guy likes you, it is really not that hard to tell. If he is hanging out with you and is being nice to you, there is a good chance he is interested in some way. If a guy is interested in you, he is going to approach you, spend time with you, etc. He isn’t going to try and be your best friend, per say, but at least find a way to spend time around you. So clue in, if he did not spend much time with you or talking to you before, and he is now, he probably likes you!

What should I do, and not do, to get his attention?

Girls employee all kinds of methods to get a guy’s attention. There is the outgoing approaches, the damsel in distress approach, and a whole lot more. But what approach do guys really like? The following is a question posed by a teen girl, and answered by a teen boy.

Question: What should I do, and more importantly not do, if I want to get his attention?

Answer: Clearly this is going to be different for every guys, but in most cases I would say that the answer is close to the same.

If a girl wants to get a guys attention she has to approach them and talk to them. This is especially true if she is not gorgeous so we have already noticed her.

One thing that I think girls may misunderstand is that a girl doesn’t have to dress skimpy or slutty to get our attention, but you do need to look nice. It is good to highlight your assets, but you do not have to put them on display. It is more of a turn on to see a girl who takes care of herself, and takes time to get ready then a girl who tries to get attention by showing off her body too much. Basically, even though we like to see a girl in a mini-skirt and tube top, that is not going to get our attention in a positive way as well as a girl who is well groomed and looks really nice, wears fashionable clothes, and always looks her best.

What should you not do? Well, the number on turn off is probably when a girl tries to come on to you forcefully. It is good to give us a heads up that you are interested, but don’t be the girl who gets the reputation of throwing herself at guys, we don’t want to date that girl, and we usually don’t like her.

Don’t flirt with our friends, and don’t work too hard at flirting with us either. Be playful in your flirting, but if you are working too hard for it, then it can be a turn off because we don’t want a girl who is obsessed or so desperate to get our attention.

Not too much make up. Make-up is great for covering up zits and making your lashes longer, etc. and we like when a girl is done up, but we don’t necessarily like seeing too much of it. In fact, if a girl is wearing too much make-up it seems like that is what she is about and it is a turn-off.

She should not cuss, burp, fart or be vulgar. While it will get our attention, it is not a positive thing. We have our guys for burping and farting. We want a feminine girl. While we like when you can hold your own with us in sports conversation, and video gaming, we don’t want to hear vulgarities come out of your pretty mouth.

What physical attributes are the most important?

Question: I know as a teen girl, a guy’s teeth are a really important physical attribute, and something I care about a lot. What physical attribute are the most important to guys?

Answer: All of them! Haha, that is the truth in a nutshell, but obviously there are some that are more important to us than others. Most guys have a favorite feature, and that is going to matter to them the most. In general you are either a boob or a butt guy. Besides that one feature we want a girl who looks good. We can overlook bad teeth if she always looks awesome. We can overlook being a little pudgy if she has awesome hair and a great rack. What it boils down to is the package as a whole, but there are things we like a lot.

Boobs are probably the most important for most of us. We want a girl who has a nice chest. B cup or bigger is what we want. If her boobs are too big, she might be kind of fat, and we don’t want that as much, but nice boobs that she shows off a little with lower cut shirts and some cleavage is good.

Butts are also really good. We want one that is nice and perky. The size of the butt depends on the guy, some like big butts, others just want them to be the right shape and tightness. No guys like a saggy butt, or a mom-butt, so perky is best.

Flat stomach is big too. Guys love when a girl has a nice flat sexy stomach. When her shirt rides up and we see a flat, or six-pack stomach that is nice and tan, it really turns us on. We do not even mind a little love handle action as long as your belly is flat and sexy.

Long legs are pretty hot too, or at least a girl who shows her legs off, and they are toned. We like seeing you in short-shorts, and we want to see tanned legs that look like they go forever.

I guess you can tell that one of the physical attributes we like a lot is having tan skin. Something about a tan is just really sexy. It makes everything look better. But, don’t be too tan. Girls that look like a darker race than they are, or whose skin is starting to look like a leather purse are just too tan. A nice golden glow with a dark tint is good.

Long hair is big for most guys too, but only if it is not nappy and gross. We want to see shiny, silky, long hair that is not too long. We want to see it done, and looking healthy. We like when you wear it down and up, but not so much when you wear it all in a knot or messy bun.

What kind of flirting do guys like?

While every teenage boy has varying preferences, in general they all like the same things. The following is a question asked by a teenage girl, and we posed it to a group of teenage boys for the answer.

Question: There are so many different ways to flirt, or to let a guy know we like them, and we want to know what kind of flirting guys like.

Answer: Guys like all flirting, but if you want to know what kind we like best, we can tell you in one word: Playful! Basically, while the sexy come-ons and whispered sweet nothings are well and good, what we really want is a girl to be fun and flirty.

By playful we mean that we want girls who are not too easy to get. We like playing the game. And we want a girl who has it mastered. Give us just enough flirting to get our attention, and then take it away so that we are left wondering if we imagined you like us. Anything that is too blunt or straightforward has a negative effect. A girl who walks up to us, brushes up against us, laughs at our jokes, touches our arm while she is talking, and winks as she walks away is enticing and mysterious to us. A girl who walks up and says, “I put out, so you should date me.” Is too obvious, and not nearly as attractive. Even if both girls are going to put out the same, and be the same as far as how fun they are goes, etc. we want the game.

So what are some examples of playful flirting? Well, let’s say we are watching a movie with a group of people, we want you to come over and sit by us, even if you have to squeeze in between other people. Take control, be confident, and funny about it. We also love massages. Don’t massage everyone or it is not flirting. If we are hanging out, and sitting around talking, get behind us and give us a back massage. It is nice of you, it provides that physical contact that is such a big part of flirting, and while it is sort of an intimate act, it is also something you can do for your sister, dad, or friend, so it is not too much. Another great thing you can do is just touch us while we are talking. You can swat at us and laugh at our joke, put your hand on our arm when we meet, put your arm around us, or even just rub up against us when we are standing around. The subtle arms brushing is really good. Jump on our back and have us give you piggy-back rides, or bump us with your hip to knock us over. All of that is good.

Playful flirting involves being fun. It means you have to get into what we are into. You might flirt with us by talking trash (playfully of course) while you play us in one on one basket ball, or playing mario kart on the wii, or something. The idea is to get us interested with fun, playful flirting that is not too forward.