Tips for being skilled in the art of flirtation

If you want to hone up your flirtation skills, try these suggestions:
1.    Be funny. A little sass, and some comedy go a long way when you are flirting. You have to act innocently unaware, and part of being a good flirt is making your flirting humorous. Big smiles, lots of laughs, and a little bit of teasing are all part of being skilled at the art of flirtation. You will want people to flock to you because you are you, so do not try too hard, just let things come, but have some snappy comebacks, or some funny lines to bring some attention to yourself.
2.    Touch but don’t cling. If you want to be a good flirt, you will want to make sure that you have physical contact with the person you are flirting with, touch their arm, their hand, or their back when talking to them, but do not cling on them. The girls who are clingy and needy do not come across as a good flirt, they come across as desperate. So, touch is good, too much is desperate. For example, when you meet and shake hands, use your other hand to touch their upper arm. This is just enough extra contact, it shows interest, grabs theirs, but does not look bad.
3.    Be independent. You do not want to need someone else to carry a conversation, or make you feel good about yourself. To be skilled at the art of flirtation, you have to exude confidence and independence. You do not need the attention, and that is why you are going to get it. People notice those who act as if they do not need to be noticed. So, have some swagger in your step, and do not need anyone.
4.    Lean in when you talk. One skill you learn as you get better at flirting is the lean in. If you want to give an air of mystery and seduction, move in close when you talk, this makes every conversation, even the conversation about the great pizza into intimate conversations. So, move in close, do not press your body against his, but get close enough that he starts to wonder what it would be like if you were pressing your body against his. Have a centimeter or two between you. You will want to make sure that if you do this that your breath is good. So, carry some breath freshener, or gum with you so that your flirting skills are not ruined by your dinner being on your breath.
5.    Look feminine. Part of being a great flirt is looking the part. Girls who are good at flirting dress femininely and wear their hair nice, and have their make-up done. So, if you want to be skilled in the art of flirting, you have to dress the part. This does not mean skin tight clothes, low cut shirts, or high skirts or shorts. However, it does mean some well fitted clothes that highlight your figure, but leave something to the imagination. If you look good, you will feel good, and you will be a better flirt.
6.    A good flirt is carefree. You can’t get too serious too fast, this is not good flirting, so keep things light, smile, laugh, and show your fun side. This will make you attractive, and guys will want you to flirt with them. Flirting is supposed to be fun, so make it fun. You can talk about more serious subjects, but take the lighter road, and you will enjoy yourself more, and your skills of flirting will be better.

What can I do when he dumps me and won’t say why?

sad teenIf he dumps you without an explanation, what do you do? Girls need answers, and not understanding what caused the break up can be really hard on you. So, find out what other guys recommend.

Question: What can I do when he dumps me and won’t say why?

Honestly, if he is not talking to you, especially if he won’t talk to you about it, you might as well just move on and avoid future troubles.  There are many guys out there that are nicer than that. But, we all know girls won’t take “nothing” for an answer.

If he won’t tell you why, it is probably because he did something wrong. He cheated, he likes someone else more, or he just does not want to be in a relationship. Most guys will tell you if it is you. They are breaking up with you, so they will tell you why if it is something in your control. So, the first thing to know is that it probably is not you, unless it is something he would be embarrassed to tell you because it makes him look shallow etc. Like your armpit hair or lip hair turned him off. Or, he may have dumped you because he was worried you were going to dump him, and wanted to do it first so he does not look stupid. So, if at all possible, just take he did something he is embarrassed about as your answer and move on.

If you can’t take that as an answer, and if he dumps you and won’t say why, do not ask, call him, email him, or make a big fuss. If he did not tell you then, he won’t tell you now, and he might even just make something stupid up to get you off his back. Asking over and over is a bad idea. It will make you look really desperate, and it will reinforce his reasoning. So, instead, just get one of your friends to talk to one of his. Or at least put your feelers out. He told someone why he dumped you. So, instead of trying to hear it from him, just listen and keep your ears open, someone will talk about it, and if you do not make a big scene about wanting to know why, someone will talk about it in front of you. You will hear third party, but at least you will know.

You can also just watch what he does. If he immediately hooks up with another girl, then that is probably why he dumped you. Or, he was insecure that you were going to dump him, he will probably try to get back together with you if you do not get with someone right away.

When he won’t tell you why he dumped you, your options are limited. However, you will feel better about yourself, and about the situation if you can rid yourself of the desire to know why. Just move on, have fun, and get in a new, better relationship in time, and you will forget all about him and his stupid lack of a reason for breaking up with you.

Some guys do not have a good reason, so they just opt not to give one. That is their prerogative, and you will have to live with it. So, if it is eating at you, discretely ask around, but if it is not bugging you too bad, just move on.

Lose the user, what to do when a guy is using you

If a guy is using you, it is time to lose him fast. No one should ever stick with a user, no matter how hot, cool, popular, or awesome he is. So, let’s take a look at how to recognize that you are being used, then how to lose the user.

How to recognize you are being used:

  1. No one knows you are together except you two, and maybe people you told.
  2. He is always pushing you for more physical than you are comfortable with.
  3. He does not call much, you talk mostly via text or instant messenger.
  4. You do not go on real dates.
  5. You do not hold hands, or even acknowledge each other much in public.

If any of these things are happening to you, then chances are you are being used. This is his way of having some fun, but keeping himself open for more girls and more options. You do not want to be this person. YOU ARE TOO IMPORTANT. You are not using him back, you like him, don’t lie to yourself. So, how do you lose the user? Try the following:

  • Confront him. The best way to lose a user is to call them out on it. No one likes getting caught. So, as hard as it is, say, “I want you to stop using me. We can be friends, or we can date, but no more in between, just physical, etc.” You decide what is acceptable to you and tell them that is all you are okay with if you are going to have any kind of relationship with them.
  • Give an ultimatum. If you really like the guy, and want to at least try for a relationship, then give an ultimatum. Tell him you do not like feeling used, and that you want a real relationship. So, tell him you want to let people know you are together, you want acknowledgment and a relationship that is in public. If they are not willing to do that, they acknowledge they are using you, and then it is over.
  • Stop responding. One of the best ways to lose a user is to simply break off contact. When they call, don’t answer, when they text, don’t text back, when they stop in, ask them to leave. If you are being used, you do not have to be rude, but you also do not want to run the risk of them sweet talking you into still being used. You are trying to get rid of that, not talk yourself into the fact that you aren’t being used, especially because you probably are.
  • Date other people. If you want to stop getting used, and lose the user you have, you need to start dating other people. Most people who let themselves get used do it because they seek companionship and physical love. So, the best way to make yourself lose the user, is to fill that need with someone else. Only, this time, find someone who is not going to use you.
  • How you lose your user is up to you, but the important thing to do is make sure that you first recognize you are being used, and second stop that from happening. You need to look our for your best interest. You need to protect yourself from getting hurt, and you need to find someone that respects you.