How to move on after a guy has dumped you

Almost everybody has been dumped at some point in their life.  It’s just a part of dating.  You have to break up with someone eventually, unless you’re planning to marry that person.  But that doesn’t make it any easier, especially when you don’t feel like it was time yet.  Maybe you were still totally in to the guy who dumped you and now you’re crushed.  But you can’t wallow around, eating ice cream and watching sappy romance movies forever.  You have to move on.  And here are some suggestions how to move on after a guy has dumped you.

  1. Keep your friends around.  Having good friends in a time of emotional crisis is imperative.  But this means that when you’re dating a guy you can’t ditch your friends.  You need to still leave room in your schedule for “girl time.”  This way, if your boyfriend dumps you, you still have a strong supportive network of girlfriends waiting to help you through this hard time.
  2. Let yourself cry.  I know, if you let yourself cry then it seems like he has won.  But every girl needs to let her emotions out.  If you don’t then they’ll get all bottled up and you’ll be miserable.  Just try not to choose an inopportune moment like the middle of algebra class to burst into tears.
  3. Don’t make excuses.  One of the worst things you can do to yourself is make up reasons why he broke up with you or what his problems were at the time.  Just let it rest (at least for now).  In a few weeks when you’re both getting over the other, you can start thinking about asking him why he did it.  But for now, you both need time to move on.  He has feelings too and if you had any type of happy relationship at all, he’s probably struggling a bit as well.
  4. Don’t get nasty.  Just because you’ve been dumped doesn’t mean that the guy who did it is a scumbag.  He might be.  But you might be just as at fault as he is.  Don’t go around school telling everyone what a jerk he is.  That just makes you look bad.  Even worse, it will make him take every semblance of nice thought he might have for you and turn it into a mean thought.  Yes, it’s sad that you’ve been dumped.  But trash talking your ex isn’t going to make things better.  So if you’re upset with him because you feel like you’ve been wronged, just keep your mouth shut.  Get a diary and write your feelings in there.
  5. Talk to your parents.  Yes, they might seem ancient right now.  But your parents have been in lots of relationships before and it’s a pretty sure thing that they’ve been dumped.  Your parents might have some good advice for you and be able to help you sort through your feelings.  Plus, parents are usually much more understanding of a grumpy teen girl when they know why she’s grumpy (in other words, if you’re going to be wallowing around your house, you might as well tell your parents so they at least let you alone).
  6. Don’t become a hermit.  One of the worst things you can do after you’ve been dumped is to sit in your house and mope.  You need to get out and do things with your friends!  You need things to distract you from your sadness, not remind you of it.  Call up old friends and go to a movie (just avoid the romantic ones).  Go hiking.  Whatever it is, just get out of your house and do something.

And remember, he’s not the only guy in the world.  There will always be others, so cheer up!