How to get him through a tough breakup

When one of your friends experience a relationship breaking up you can see and feel the pain they are going through. And want to help them get over the relationship as soon as possible because you can’t stand seeing them so depressed and sad. When you are a friend trying to help another friend through a relationship breakup you may feel unsure of how to ease the pain, but when the friend you are trying to help is a boy, those feelings of uncertainty are magnified. When a friend that is a girl goes through a relationship breaking up, she most likely cries and lets her sadness show, but many times boys going through a breakup do not show their hurt feelings but bottle those feelings up. So how do you know if your friend that is a boy is bottling up his emotions and needs your help?
If he doesn’t act sad, he must not be sad. Not true. Many times boys are taught to not show their emotions especially in front of others. He may be just keeping the hurt caused by the breakup inside but eventually it will come out. He may act like he is on top of the world and say things like “I was going to breakup with her anyway” or even turn his sad feelings into feelings of anger. His anger most likely will be towards the ex-girlfriend.  Your friend may not feel sadness about the breakup but then again he might. He won’t tell you if he does, so watch for attitude changes like hating the world, blaming only the ex-girlfriend for the breakup, displaying violent and erratic behavior. These maybe signs he is feeling sad but he is letting the sadness out disguised as anger, which many times it is seen by others as acceptable for boys to display violent behavior rather than showing signs of sadness.
Many girls become depressed and some even suicidal, boys are no different. They too may feel depressed and have thoughts of suicide. Girls often show more signs of depression than boys do. Girls will ask for help or show signs that they need help but boys very rarely show signs of depression, and may even act happier than they have ever been. Watch your friend’s behavior; is he overly happy to the point of being “cheesy”? Or he might even begin to shut you and other friends out. He may slowly start not “hanging out” as often, he may also become less involved in sports and other activities that he participated in before the breakup. Suddenly not caring about what was important like he may begin to fail classes in school that he enjoyed and made good grades in. How can you help him? Listen to him if he does want to talk, don’t talk, and let him do the majority of the talking. Keep his mind off of the relationship ending by keeping him busy whether it is attending a sporting event or just watching TV.
You may not see him shed a tear or show the least amount of sadness towards the relationship breaking up. And if he is acting perfectly normal, he could be dealing with his emotions on his own and he just might be fine, like he says he is every time you ask him “Are you alright”?  People deal with situations differently, some show their emotions and cry out for help while other fight back tears and hide themselves in their room. You just being a friend will help even if he doesn’t need it. So be a friend by letting him know you are there if he needs you to lend an ear.

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