How to explore your crush without getting burned 

If you’ve ever had a secret crush on someone, you know it can be nerve racking.  You’re dying to walk up to him and confess your secret love, but you would never ever want to do something as embarrassing as that!  You want to get to know him and talk to him, but you’re afraid he doesn’t even know you exist.  So what do you do?  You obviously can’t go on living the way you are- you’ll go crazy if you don’t have some kind of outlet for your crush.  But how can you explore your crush without getting totally burned?

First of all, relax!  Don’t get so stressed out when he’s around.  He’ll notice if you’re always jittery when he’s around and he’ll think you’re weird.  Just be calm.  Tell yourself that he’s just a boy he’s just a person; he gets nervous too.

Next, get some confidence!  Everyone likes people who have good self-esteem and are secure with themselves.  People will notice that you are confident and it will make your personality shine.  Working on your confidence will also help you be less nervous when the boy you like is around.  If you need to, practice talking to yourself in the mirror.  Practice what you would say to him if he walked into your house.

Third, be yourself!  This might be the most important tip of all.  You must be yourself no matter what.  Don’t let the desire to date some boy change who you are.  If any boy, no matter how cool or hot he is, doesn’t appreciate your personality then he’s not worth dating!  Plus, he’ll notice if you are trying too hard or are acting weird.  And what happens if you pretend to be someone else for a while and then get to know him and start to be yourself- then he’ll think you’re a poser and won’t be interested in you.  So just be yourself.  It’s much easier that way.

Now that you’ve figured out how to act around him, let’s find out what kind of person he is.  Whether you’re in the same class or see him every week at church, say hello to him.  Ask him about himself and what he’s been up to.  Ask him simple questions like what teachers he has or what sports he likes to play.  Share a little about yourself as well.  Flirt with him a little bit.  Make eye contact with him.  Smile at him when you pass him in the hall.  Make friends with his friends.  One of the best ways to find out about a person is by hanging out with the type of people that he likes.  If you get along well with his group of friends and you like them, chances are that you’ll like him and be interested in similar things.  But if you hate his friends, you probably should just give up now.

Once you’ve finally started talking to him on a regular basis, start building up a friendship.  Ask him and his friends to group activities with you and your friends.  Think of reasons for the two of you to hang out together.  Maybe even work up the courage to ask him out on a date.  By this point, there’s a good chance that he might be into you as well.  If you’re very bold, just tell him that you really like him and have had a crush on him for a while.  If you’re too shy, keep asking him out and hopefully he’ll start to do the same to you.  Then you’ll have a strong relationship started and you will have emerged unscathed!

Does he like me?

As a teenage girl you are probably plagued with the question of whether or not a certain boy likes you. This is a typical question for most girls, and the reason they all ask it is that frankly, it can be hard to tell. Either he acts like he does sometimes, and then doesn’t other times, or he treats you bad, or he says he doesn’t and then flirts with you. Mixed signals are the specialty of teen boys, especially when a teen girl is receiving those signals. The following is a look at whether or not he likes you, and how you can tell:

1. Does he spend time with you? Most teen boys simply will not put an effort into a girl they are not interested in. If he makes effort to talk

to you at school, to call you, to hang out with you, even if it is in a group, there is a good chance he at least is interested. However, the level of that interest is uncertain. Before you ask yourself any more questions, you first have to be honest, does he seek y

ou out? Does he try to talk to you when he sees you? When you are in a group setting, does he initiate contact? Sometimes a boy is being polite to your advances, and this can be mistaken as him making the advances. So, if you talk frequently it does not mean he likes you if you are calling him, or approaching him. Does he approach you?

2. How does he treat you compared to other girls? In elementary school you may have ben told that if he is mean to you it is because he likes you. This, while totally blown out of proportion, does have an element of truth to it. If a boy likes you, and does not

necessarily want you to know, he may treat you differently than he treats other girls. However, you have to remember, if you want him to like you, you may be reading into things that are not even there. So, be honest with yourself when you evaluate how he treats you in comparison to how he treats others of your gender.

3. Has he given clear indication of feelings for you? Did he get your number? Did he ask you out? Did he try to hold your hand, kiss you, etc.? The funny thing about girls is that even after a boy has made it fairly obvious that he likes her, she questions it. Many say, ”

Well he might be playing me?” Or something to that effect. However, if he has given clear indications of his feelings, and now you are uncertain, it may be because of the way you responded, or a mixed signal you sent him. So, the best thing to do is confront the situation head on. Ask the boy. Say, “So, you held my hand at the movie, but haven’t talked to me since, do you like me or not?” If the direct style is not yours, then enjoy wondering and obsessing over it. Sometimes it is worth being slightly uncomfortable in order to get an answer, and spend less time and energy worrying.

4. T

ake what they say at face value. Girls have a habit of reading into everything. Based on research into the ways boys and girls communicate, girls tend to communicate in several levels, and boys in one. This means that when a girl says something she may mean something entirely different, but in most cases when a boy says something he means what he says. So, girls, quit looking for hidden meaning.

5. Have you given him reason not to like you? Sometimes a boy likes a girl, shows interest, she responds, and you would think things would go swimmingly from there. However, sometimes they don’t. This can often be a

ttributed to the girl then flirting with someone else, not answering a call, or turning down a date, no matter what the reason. If a guy gets mixed signals from a girl, there is a good chance he will move on to someone else. He is not going to put himself out there when you rejected him by accepting the advances of another. So, if you are a big flirt, chances are you will be wondering a lot if guys like you.

When all else fails, just ask!