One thing every teen boy seems to aspire to being is a player. The idea of going through women like they are going out of style is appealing. Not caring, not getting hurt, and getting all the loving you can ever want is appealing. However, that does not mean every boy is a player. In many cases their conscience or real feelings get in the way of being James Bond like. So, girls, this means that some boys can be trusted. However, some are players. The following is a look at the typical player.
What is a player?
A player is someone who uses the opposite sex for what they want, but does not have any deep feelings, or emotions for the person. In other words, a boy might act like he likes you in order to get you to make out with him, have sex with him, etc. then he will move on. Most players will not hang around once they get what they want. However, with that in mind, they also know that you are willing to give them what they want, so they may come back to you time and again. This is the real dangers of players. It is like they dangle hope in front of you, empty promises, etc. and then take it away. Each time they return you convince yourself that this time is different, or that they have changed, or you have wised up. This is the power of the player. Generally speaking, a player is a great manipulator.
How can you tell if someone is a player?
First, you have to consider their past. Has the person played any one you know? Usually players have a bit of a reputation, even though they try not to. So, listen to what other girls say, and do not do the typical teen girl thing of “She is just bitter because he dumped her.” It may be true, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a player.
Second, judge their actions toward you. Start with little things. Are they all charm and sweetness when they want your attention, but once they have it, how do they act? How do they treat you in front of other people? Players thrive on secrecy. So, they will meet you for make-outs, will hold your hand under a blanket, or call you, but at school they may act like you don’t exist, they might text, chat, or email you, but actual face to face conversations may be lacking. If they will kiss you in private, they should not be afraid to acknowledge some sort of relationship in public.
Third, what are your experiences with them. If they have used you, mistreated you, or played you before, they are likely to do it again. It does not matter what they tell you, chances are they are lonely, or bored, and you are an easy target. It feels good to believe you are the reason they have changed their wayward ways, but the fact is, most teen boys do not have the maturity or insight to make those kind of changes, and you will just end up hurt.
What to do if you are attracted to a player? Run! Haha, no, your best bet is to simply never give over too much control. As soon as they can mistreat you without you leaving, they will play you. If you want to be the girl who gets the player, you have to be the girl who respects herself too much to get played. This means put your foot down, and don’t get manipulated.