Being friends with a girl when you have a girlfriend

three teens smiling with a thumb upHaving a girl as just a friend can be tricky.  Being friends with a girl when you have a girlfriend can be even trickier.  Keeping both the friendship and the girlfriend requires maturity by everyone, self-control, and clear communication.

Maturity

Being in a relationship and having a girl as a friend requires maturity because it is easy to get jealous.  The friendship is probably mature and strong, which means that the guy and girl probably act themselves around the other person.  It probably means that the guy and girl are able to talk about anything, share similar interests, and have gone through hard times together.  On the other hand, a girlfriend is new, exciting, and offers a physical aspect to a relationship.  Because the girlfriend is so new, the guy and girl probably do not act completely themselves, nor have they dealt with hard times.  It can be easy for the girlfriend to think the guy has a better relationship with his friend that is a girl, than with the girlfriend.

The guy needs to be mature and sensitive to the feelings of his girlfriend.  The girlfriend will likely get jealous, and the guy needs to be able to figure out if the girlfriend is mature enough for him to be friends with another girl.  Hopefully the girlfriend will understand the guy’s friendship and respect it.  Self-control and communication are two ways to show maturity when having a girlfriend while still be friends with other girls.

Self-control

Girls like to flirt.  It is possible that the friend that is a girl flirts with the guy without him even knowing it.  It could be that because the two friends are so comfortable together, they flirt without knowing it.  This can cause the girlfriend to be jealous.  The guy needs to recognize the way he acts when he is with his friend and the way he acts with his girlfriend.  Treating his friend more like one of the guys, while treating his girlfriend like someone special will help the girlfriend better deal with the friend.  If all three of them ever get together, the guy needs to make sure his girlfriend knows she is the girlfriend by showing her attention.

At the same time, the girlfriend needs to understand that the guy’s friend is special to him in a non-intimate way, and relax when he spends time with the friend.

Clear Communication

Communication is key when a guy is friends with a girl, and he has a girlfriend.  This can be the hardest thing for a guy because it requires him to talk about emotional stuff.  Telling the friend how he feels about his girlfriend and talking about how that new relationship will affect their relationship is a healthy way to ensure the friend does not feel disregarded.  Sharing with the girlfriend how the guy’s friend is important to him, but in a different way than the girlfriend, is a good way to get all of the cards out on the table.  With any luck, the girlfriend and friend will become friends themselves.

Being friends with a girl while having a girlfriend can be tricky.  It is important to show maturity, self-control and clear communication to give both the relationship and the friendship the best opportunity to work out.  But remember, high school is supposed to be fun, so have fun!