Getting Along With Your Teen Daughter

Parenting is one of the most difficult jobs in the world! Many people find that the teen years are some of the hardest ones as the kids are learning a lot and they like to challenge authority and test their boundaries. Your once adoring daughter may suddenly be going through a number of life changes and she may find your overall presence irritating and annoying. You could end up dealing with a lot of arguments and just struggling to get through the days. How can you find better ways to parent your teen daughter?

It is important to recognize that she is going to deal with a lot of hormonal changes and things and these issues will end up impacting her mood. This can be really hard for many people. You need to be understanding of this as it’s just as hard on your daughter as it is on you to deal with the mood swings. She is learning to control them and it is not always easy at times.

Watch your behavior. When your teen daughter starts flying off the handle, you need to maintain your cool! It is important that you do not become like a teen yourself and start thinking in the moment and illogically. You need to be the parent and to be in control of the situation! Focus on working hard to manage your own emotions so you don’t end up in a screaming match with your teen.

Your teen is on the hunt for a person that they feel understands them. As a parent you need to be this person! It is important that you take the step to really learn how to listen to your teen and to find out what is going on in their life. You must be able to work on effective communication with your teen and to show them that you are trying to understand them. They may appreciate the effort that you are putting forward to try and make your relationship work. Learn to listen as this is huge to a teen. They don’t always want you to give them advice as they want you to listen to them. Sometimes teens just need to vent.

Make yourself available for your daughter. You really need to work on being there for her when she needs to talk and not letting yourself get distracted by other things. As your daughter can see that you make her a big priority in your life, she will feel loved and it will be easier on her to trust you and to know that you will always be there for her.

Watch your words. Teen girls have very fragile self-esteem. You need to make sure you are watching what you say as she can be overly sensitive to it and may be offended. You need to be able to provide her with compliments each day and to let her see and know of your love for her. You have to avoid scolding her and to make sure that you are having discussions with her instead. This is a different type of relationship and it’s one that you both need to figure out together. Have a lot of love and patience with each other.

Rules are necessary for teens! Some parents try too hard to be the best friend that they forget about being the parent. You need to have set rules and she needs to understand what these rules are. If you do not have rules and you let her make her own rules, it will lead to a lot of fighting in the home as you are trying to parent too little too late.

Being friends with a girl when you have a girlfriend

three teens smiling with a thumb upHaving a girl as just a friend can be tricky.  Being friends with a girl when you have a girlfriend can be even trickier.  Keeping both the friendship and the girlfriend requires maturity by everyone, self-control, and clear communication.

Maturity

Being in a relationship and having a girl as a friend requires maturity because it is easy to get jealous.  The friendship is probably mature and strong, which means that the guy and girl probably act themselves around the other person.  It probably means that the guy and girl are able to talk about anything, share similar interests, and have gone through hard times together.  On the other hand, a girlfriend is new, exciting, and offers a physical aspect to a relationship.  Because the girlfriend is so new, the guy and girl probably do not act completely themselves, nor have they dealt with hard times.  It can be easy for the girlfriend to think the guy has a better relationship with his friend that is a girl, than with the girlfriend.

The guy needs to be mature and sensitive to the feelings of his girlfriend.  The girlfriend will likely get jealous, and the guy needs to be able to figure out if the girlfriend is mature enough for him to be friends with another girl.  Hopefully the girlfriend will understand the guy’s friendship and respect it.  Self-control and communication are two ways to show maturity when having a girlfriend while still be friends with other girls.

Self-control

Girls like to flirt.  It is possible that the friend that is a girl flirts with the guy without him even knowing it.  It could be that because the two friends are so comfortable together, they flirt without knowing it.  This can cause the girlfriend to be jealous.  The guy needs to recognize the way he acts when he is with his friend and the way he acts with his girlfriend.  Treating his friend more like one of the guys, while treating his girlfriend like someone special will help the girlfriend better deal with the friend.  If all three of them ever get together, the guy needs to make sure his girlfriend knows she is the girlfriend by showing her attention.

At the same time, the girlfriend needs to understand that the guy’s friend is special to him in a non-intimate way, and relax when he spends time with the friend.

Clear Communication

Communication is key when a guy is friends with a girl, and he has a girlfriend.  This can be the hardest thing for a guy because it requires him to talk about emotional stuff.  Telling the friend how he feels about his girlfriend and talking about how that new relationship will affect their relationship is a healthy way to ensure the friend does not feel disregarded.  Sharing with the girlfriend how the guy’s friend is important to him, but in a different way than the girlfriend, is a good way to get all of the cards out on the table.  With any luck, the girlfriend and friend will become friends themselves.

Being friends with a girl while having a girlfriend can be tricky.  It is important to show maturity, self-control and clear communication to give both the relationship and the friendship the best opportunity to work out.  But remember, high school is supposed to be fun, so have fun!