How to explore your crush without getting burned 

If you’ve ever had a secret crush on someone, you know it can be nerve racking.  You’re dying to walk up to him and confess your secret love, but you would never ever want to do something as embarrassing as that!  You want to get to know him and talk to him, but you’re afraid he doesn’t even know you exist.  So what do you do?  You obviously can’t go on living the way you are- you’ll go crazy if you don’t have some kind of outlet for your crush.  But how can you explore your crush without getting totally burned?

First of all, relax!  Don’t get so stressed out when he’s around.  He’ll notice if you’re always jittery when he’s around and he’ll think you’re weird.  Just be calm.  Tell yourself that he’s just a boy he’s just a person; he gets nervous too.

Next, get some confidence!  Everyone likes people who have good self-esteem and are secure with themselves.  People will notice that you are confident and it will make your personality shine.  Working on your confidence will also help you be less nervous when the boy you like is around.  If you need to, practice talking to yourself in the mirror.  Practice what you would say to him if he walked into your house.

Third, be yourself!  This might be the most important tip of all.  You must be yourself no matter what.  Don’t let the desire to date some boy change who you are.  If any boy, no matter how cool or hot he is, doesn’t appreciate your personality then he’s not worth dating!  Plus, he’ll notice if you are trying too hard or are acting weird.  And what happens if you pretend to be someone else for a while and then get to know him and start to be yourself- then he’ll think you’re a poser and won’t be interested in you.  So just be yourself.  It’s much easier that way.

Now that you’ve figured out how to act around him, let’s find out what kind of person he is.  Whether you’re in the same class or see him every week at church, say hello to him.  Ask him about himself and what he’s been up to.  Ask him simple questions like what teachers he has or what sports he likes to play.  Share a little about yourself as well.  Flirt with him a little bit.  Make eye contact with him.  Smile at him when you pass him in the hall.  Make friends with his friends.  One of the best ways to find out about a person is by hanging out with the type of people that he likes.  If you get along well with his group of friends and you like them, chances are that you’ll like him and be interested in similar things.  But if you hate his friends, you probably should just give up now.

Once you’ve finally started talking to him on a regular basis, start building up a friendship.  Ask him and his friends to group activities with you and your friends.  Think of reasons for the two of you to hang out together.  Maybe even work up the courage to ask him out on a date.  By this point, there’s a good chance that he might be into you as well.  If you’re very bold, just tell him that you really like him and have had a crush on him for a while.  If you’re too shy, keep asking him out and hopefully he’ll start to do the same to you.  Then you’ll have a strong relationship started and you will have emerged unscathed!

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