As a teenager you have no doubt experienced some of the hormones and desires for physical contact and intimacy. Most teens have a desire for an intimate connection with someone. In addition to the sex drive, there is that need to fit in and be loved and accepted, flaws and all, by someone. Many teens turn to sex to find this intimacy with someone, as it is a very intimate act. However, sex is a huge decision, and not something you can ever go back and undo once you have done it. So, a better option for someone who is looking for intimacy, is to find it without sex. The following are some great tips for how to get intimacy without sex:
Spend time together. Being physically close to one another on a regular basis can help inspire intimacy. If you spend enough time together you start to share secrets, camaraderie, etc. So, when you have free time, spend it together, getting to know each other better.
Do things that are not going to be normal interactions of strangers. For example, give each other massages, cuddle during a movie, leave affectionate notes in each other’s cars, lockers, etc. The more familiar your actions, the more intimate your connection will become.
Enjoy the level of physicality you are comfortable with. If you are not engaging in sex, that does not mean you can’t enjoy a good make-out on occasion. Even if you are keeping your hands to yourself, and not fondling one another does not mean you can’t kiss, hold hands, hug, etc. Those steamy make-outs can go a long way in providing an intimacy without sex, just be careful not to let them go too far.
One of the best things you can do for your relationship is not let it get stale. When you first start dating you have the excitement of that first hand holding, the butterflies, the wondering, and the joy. If after a few weeks or months you no longer hold hands in the car, it is time to change that. Hold hands and never neglect to kiss each other goodbye. Sometimes the simple interactions of affection bring you far closer than intercourse. So, keep the simple things alive.
Be emotionally intimate if you are avoiding physical intimacy. Pay attention to them, their thoughts, feelings, needs, likes, dislikes. Write notes to each other. Get mushy sometimes. Surprise them with thoughtful gifts or activities. Plan things. Share with one another. Talk to them about your fears, concerns, dreams, and goals. Listen when they talk to you about theirs.
It is very possible to achieve an intimate connection and relationship with someone without the intimacy of sex. In fact, it is a much better option for teens to achieve intimacy this way so that they do not risk unwanted consequences like pregnancy, etc.