Secrets

  1. Last year we had a new student teacher for my English class.  I had a really huge crush on him but nobody knew.  So once for a poetry assignment I wrote a really cheesy love poem for him but didn’t sign my name.  Then every week for the next 2 months I wrote him a love poem and turned it in without my name on it.  He asked the class who it was, but I didn’t tell.  To this day, nobody ever found out that it was me!
  2. All my friends think that I had my first boyfriend when I was in high school.  But actually, I never really dated anyone until after I graduated.  And I hadn’t even kissed anyone until I met the guy I’m dating now.  Not even my best friend knows that I was “VL” until I turned 18!
  3. I was trying to get my best friend to date this guy who had a crush on her for weeks but was too shy to tell her.  So to get them together, I sent him a text message from her phone telling him that “she” really liked him.  He asked her out the next day and they never figured out that it was really me sending the text!
  4. I was at a pool party and really, really had to go to the bathroom.  I didn’t want to go inside though, because I was trying to impress this guy that another girl was flirting with.  So I decided to pee in the pool- nobody ever noticed it was me, but one of the other guys did say something about a warm spot in the corner I peed in.
  5. I’ve always had a crush on my best friend’s boy friend.  One day I couldn’t handle it anymore so I sent him an anonymous note confessing my feelings.  He told my best friend that somebody out there loves him and she got really upset.  They never found out it was me and decided to start dating a different guy.
  6. I had really bad stomach pains one day at school, so I asked my teacher if I could go to the bathroom.  I was in there for a while and it didn’t smell very nice when I was done.  As I was walking down the hall, some girls walked in the bathroom and started yelling about how bad it smelled.  They never knew it was me who had been in there.
  7. My English teacher had a signed copy of her favorite book that she let me borrow over Christmas break one year.  But somehow I lost it traveling from my house to my grandma’s.  Luckily, the author was in town doing a book signing before school started again, so I bought a new copy and had it signed.  My teacher never knew that I lost her original copy and I never told her!
  8. I was at my best friend’s pool party one night and we had all the lights off while we swam around.  One time I jumped in the pool and my top came off as I hit the water!  Since it was dark, I couldn’t find my top and I didn’t want to draw attention to myself by asking people if they had seen it.  So I jumped out of the pool and ran inside and grabbed another suit.  Everybody saw me, but to this day nobody knows that it was me they saw naked.
  9. I’ve been in love with my best friend’s boyfriend as long as I can remember.  One day I told him how much I liked him, but he said he just couldn’t cheat on my friend.  Both of us decided not to say anything about it.  They’re still dating and I’m over him now but my friend never found out.
  10. My sister thinks that her favorite shirt was lost when we moved last year.  But her favorite shirt also happens to be my favorite shirt: I stole it when we moved and I wear it when I go out for something special.  I put it on after I leave the house and take it off before I get home.  It’s a great shirt and she has no idea that it’s actually just one room away from her!  Shh- don’t tell her!

Poems

  1. Soft caress of fingertips on ivory,

notes dripping with inspiration

The music sores through unending passages

fervently rising and falling with every forte

desperately trying to break free

from each vein running rampantly through

The music comes in silences but then,

lightening strikes and thunder fills the ai

souls sore to new heights

and passion emerges from within

rendering unfathomable emotion

uncontainable desire to overcome

the monotony of conforming rhythm

holding back the sweet melody off life…a life lived

  1. How?

How can I ever be

the type of person I’m expected?

I want to do so much with life

yet I’m never respected.

Those whom I encounter,

laugh and scoff at me.

Like crimson paint,

they spill my blood with words.

They mock and taint

my dreams with scorn.

  1. We Are One

Bombs, planes

they’re all the same…

they change one’s life

or accentuate the death.

Can I say I’m sorry?

That I feel your pain

I don’t know who’s to blame

but I do know we are One.

We are all Americans,

turbans, rosaries, veils…

Just because I am different

doesn’t mean I am sinister

I shall vanquish

this veil that separates

our worlds, they shall merge

forever to be One.

  1. Liberation from fear

liberation from the mask I wear

to hide myself from the scornful eyes around me.

Freedom from control

all of this is mine now.

I can run without

looking behind,

I can move forward without regret and oppression

  1. Everyone talks about it

as if it is something that can be bought or stolen-

But it can not be stolen- for that,

that is the cause of its lack

steal my money, my rights and

my life, what am I to do-

retaliate?  so much for …

that longed for…peace.

  1. The longest night of the year

in the company of a perfect stranger

yet a feeling of complete content

the vast  darkness engulfing

sea and sky fuse together

creating an enormous window to the unknown.

Secret wishes shoot through the heavens,

catalysts for concordance among all

A sly look, and a single word-go

reveals one’s hidden thoughts instantaneously

yet how to put in words poses problematic

the jumbled thoughts and conflicting desires

impossible manifestations leading only to disappointment

like the rising tide, coming and going

enter stage right – only to leave too soon

a lingering embrace provokes something more

a quick stolen wish at the end…

…of the longest night of the year

  1. Abandoned sanctuaries longing for fulfillment

crosses reaching to the vacant masses

empty pews and abandoned altars

entombed by cobwebs and hallow promises

the only patrons are those that scurry

across the age encrusted cracked concrete

a phantom chorus of forgotten saints

raise their silent voices toward heaven

only to be absorbed into fading frescos and

magnificent sculptures eroded by time’s torrential tears

body and blood long since gone stale

eternal flames of offerings extinguished

remnants stopped, frozen by time

  1. You don’t like what I say?

So go ahead- lock me up

My voice sounds louder than ever

I will draw people to my side through my words

Because of you- all because of you

and the constraints you give-

My voice is the thunder

from which you cannot hide

  1. Waiting for the verdict

it will change my life

for good or worse

the answer will come

its too late now,

to change the past

to go back and redo

what I should have done

what can I do

but sit and wait

the people come and go

but I remain here,

in the monotonous routine

of waiting, hoping, sighting

the answer still has not come

how long must I wait?

10.  Along the empty streets

without motivation or destination.

I pass by shadows

I have gone to the depths of hell

But in the strength of the moment

I have emerged stronger.

I don’t want to suffer pain any more

or believe that the skies are falling

nor that the rivers lose their water

I believe only in my desires

the ones that no one knows.

I trust my heart alone

to take to me to where I belong.

Oops

  1. There was this boy that I totally had a crush on for months.  But I was way too shy to ever go talk to him about it.  So sometimes my best friend would go scope things out to see if he might be interested.  One day I was telling her what to ask him when I turned around and there he was!  Standing right behind me!  How embarrassing!
  2. There was this school party where whole bunch of my friends were hanging out.  My friends and I started looking for my crush.  When we saw him at the end of a hallway, I started goofing off to get him to notice me.  Unfortunately I was dancing around a little too much and whacked my elbow on a fire alarm sticking out of the wall.  I started yelling in pain and then showed up at school the next day with cast on my arm from a fractured elbow!  Both my friends and my crush laughed at me for days.
  3. I was really tired one day in class and decided to take a little nap at my desk during biology.  When I woke up I noticed that my face felt a bit damp.  Then I saw the huge puddle of drool all over my desk- it covered all my books and papers!  Everybody noticed and started laughing.  I never slept in class again.
  4. I was at our high school’s basketball game with all my friends when I saw a boy I liked from another school on the other side of the gym.  I waved at him to get his attention and then got up to go say hello.  But as soon as he saw me, I tripped on my backpack and fell down the bleachers!  He and his friends laughed at me for a while.  But I still went to talk to him and he asked me out right after the game!
  5. One day I was sitting at lunch with my new boyfriend.  I reached in my bag to get my phone out and somehow 2 tampons fell out of my bag!  I tried to grab them and stuff them back in my bag before my boyfriend noticed, but he did.  Then he asked me if I was on my period right then in front of everyone!  The worst part is, all his friends were sitting around us and heard him!
  6. I was really flat chest-ed even when I was in high school.  And when this guy I had a huge crush on asked me to a school dance, I was so excited!  But I was nervous about looking like a boy so I went out and bought a really, really padded push-up bra.  The worst part is when he came to pick me up, all he could do was stare at my boobs.
  7. One night before I went to bed I put a green mud mask on my face.  As I was walking downstairs to get a glass of water, I heard my older brother and his hot friends in the other room.  I quickly hid in the closet, but their voices kept coming closer until they finally opened the closet door to find me in my nightgown with a green face!
  8. I was trying a new type of mascara that I’d never used before.  In my rush to get out of the house, I didn’t look in the mirror before I left.  So when I got to school, I noticed a few people giving me funny looks.  I went in the bathroom to see what the problem was, when I discovered that my mascara was actually green instead of black!  That’s the last time I ever buy a new mascara without looking at it first!
  9. I was with a bunch of friends one summer having a barbeque and water fight.  Somebody said something really funny and I started laughing and couldn’t stop.  Then I actually peed my pants because I was laughing so hard!  Luckily we were having a water fight so I just had my best friend soak me down so no one would notice the wet spot.  But a few of the guys noticed and to this day they try to make me laugh that hard again.
  10. I had been at work really late on a school night and so I was really tired in class the next day.  I fell asleep during my history class and woke up to hear everyone laughing at me.  I had started snoring really loud as I slept and disrupted the whole class!

Fun/Pranks

“One time my family was moving, so we had a whole bunch of extra “For Sale” signs in my garage.  My friends and I went around at night and stuck “For Sale” signs in our friends’ lawns, so when they woke up in the morning their house was up for sale!”

“We had a lot of extra spaghetti at our house, and it was starting to get old and hard.  My friends and I took the huge bowl and went driving down the street, screaming and throwing spaghetti at people!  We hit some people right in the face!  It was hilarious!”

“My friends and I were watching Billy Madison and thought that the scene with the flaming bags of poop was hilarious!  We wanted to do something like it, so we filled up some paper sacks with chili!  We drove over to my crush’s house, and left a flaming bag of chili on his porch.  We hid in the bushes and watched him try to stamp out the fire.  It was so funny!”

“This girl in my class didn’t like me very much, because I was dating this guy that she liked.  My friends and I took some ketchup and placed it on her chair at school.  She didn’t notice, and the rest of the day people were asking her if it was “that time of the month” for her.  She never found out that it was us that put the ketchup there!”

“I was running for student government, and there was a lot of construction going on at my school at the time.  They were putting in a new soccer field and building a new lunchroom.  When I stood up to give my campaign speech, I said, ‘If I get elected, I promise that I will put in a new soccer field and a new lunchroom in this school!’  I listed off all of the projects that were already being put into place!  It was so hilarious – and I got elected!”

“My boyfriend asked me to prom by putting a wading pool full of water on my front porch.  He then got a frozen fish from the deli and put it outside the wading pool, with a sign that said, ‘I’d be a fish out of water if you didn’t go to prom with me!’  It wasn’t the most romantic way to get asked to prom, but it was so funny!”

“My dad was running for office in our town, so my friends and I wanted to make sure that he won.  We drove around the town and grabbed all of the signs of his opponents off of people’s yards.  We put all of the signs in our garage. My dad found them later and made us give them all back.  But I think that our prank worked – my dad got elected!”

“We grabbed all of my friend’s clothes out of her gym locker and turned them all of them inside-out.  When we got of out of P.E., my friend was in such a hurry that she didn’t even notice that her clothes were inside out!  We let her walk around with inside-out clothes for about an hour before we finally told her!”

“My friends and I went to the mall to check out the guys that were there.  We brought with us my older brother’s belt.  When we saw a cute guy, we would go up to him from behind and say, ‘Did you drop this?’  A lot of guys would actually check to make sure they were still wearing their belt!  They would start talking to us after that, and my friend even met her boyfriend that way!”

“Before we went swimming one day, my friends and I decided to cut a little hole in our friend’s old swimming suit.  She had wanted to buy a new one for a long time, but she hadn’t gotten around to it.  So, we thought that cutting a little hole would help her to finally buy a new suit.  She didn’t notice the hole, and while we were swimming she went down a waterslide.  The hole ripped really wide open on the slide, and we had to grab towels before she could even get out of the water!”

Fun/Pranks

1.    I had this teacher that I really didn’t like because he always picked on me in front of everyone.  So one day I came to school early, went in his room, and put chalk in all of his erasers so that he couldn’t erase anything off the blackboard.  He never found out it was me!
2.    I was mad at my brother so one night when he had a bunch of friends over I planned my revenge.  After he fell asleep on the couch, I put his hand in hot water and waited.  It worked!  Because of the warm water on his hand, my brother wet his pants in front of all his friends.
3.    One day I was sick of my brother always making a mess in my bathroom instead of his, so I decided to play a trick on him.  Before he got up that morning, I put plastic wrap over the toilet.  When he stumbled into my bathroom to pee, he didn’t notice that the toilet was covered and ended up making a mess all over himself and the floor.  After my mom made him clean it up, he never used my bathroom again!
4.    My best friend and I were having a slumber party and decided to prank call some guys in our class.  When they answered we acted like we didn’t speak English and had the wrong number for our local pizza place.  They were really confused and we laughed for hours.
5.    Some friends and I were out one night when someone suggested that we have a “pasta bowl” meaning that we take a pile of cooked spaghetti and throw it at on coming cars.  After we’d been doing it for a while, we hit a blue mini van that my best friend though looked really familiar.  It turns out that it was her mom that we hit with spaghetti!  She made us clean the car the next day, but never said anything else about it.
6.    A new kid moved into our neighborhood and so to welcome him in, we toilet papered his drive way and wrote “welcome to the hood” with paper and chocolate syrup.  The next day we came over to help him clean it up and we’ve been friends ever since.
7.    My brother has always been obsessed with cool ring tones on his cell phone- songs, sounds, whatever.  So one day I stole his phone and changed his ring tones to really embarrassing ones- chickens crowing, pigs snorting, and an opera singer.  When his phone went off in front of his friends and sounded like a pig snorting, he was really mad.
8.    My school and the neighboring school have a really strong rivalry.  So for spirit week my friends and I decided to steal the other school’s mascot.  We got it late one night and put it on the roof of our school.  We left a roll of toilet paper hanging where their mascot had been.  The other school was humiliated and we had a great spirit week!
9.    Most of my girlfriends and I are all on the school soccer team and we decided to play a prank on the boy’s soccer team.  So one day after practice while they were all showering, we snuck into the boys locker room and stole their clothes.  We put their clothes in the girls locker room.  So after they came in from practice and showered, they discovered that they didn’t have anything to put on.  We could hear them yelling from way down the hall.
10.    My sister has been in love with this guy forever, but never has the guts to talk to him.  So one day I got online on her im account and pretended to be her.  I imed the guy she liked and we chatted for hours.  Finally, he asked her out for the next weekend.  Imagine her surprise when he showed up at our house to pick her up!  But they went out and had a great time anyway.

The Christmas Sneek-peak

Christmas time at my house has always been a way big deal. Weeks before Christmas, presents would be piled under our tree for me and my brother. One year with five days left until Christmas day I couldn’t wait any longer I had to know what I was getting. I thought everyone was gone and picked one of the biggest presents for me and carefully unwrapped it. Just as I see what it is, in walks my stupid little brother, catching me in the act. What was I to do? So instead of him telling on me I helped him with unwrapping a few of his and then with a little scotch tape I wrapped them right back up. Well the next day my dad comes home from work and guess what my brother is wearing? A shirt that he had opened on his own and decided to wear. Told you he was stupid.

The Wrong Apartment

Last summer I had gone over to my friends house, she lived in an apartment complex and it was the first time I had been to her house. We started having a water fight with these guys that lived in her complex. I was running from this guy who had a whole bucket of water. And thinking it was her apartment, I ran and slammed the door real hard behind me. I went to the kitchen and started to fill my cup up with water when I noticed things looked a little different. I poked my head around the corner and two people were sitting on the couch with stunned looks on their faces. I said “sorry” and ran out just as fast as I had run in.

I was so embarrassed…

It was the first day of my seventh grade year I had got up at like five that morning, almost three hours before school even started just to get ready. I wanted to make sure my hair, my make-up, my clothes, everything was perfect. It took me and two of my close friends a whole week just to decide which new clothes we were going to wear that first day. Everything I was wearing to school that day was new, my outfit, my shoes, my bra, my panties, socks, jewelry, right down to my lotion. My clothes were ironed perfectly, my hair, my make-up perfect. I was “ready”.  Being the first day, my mom drove me and my friends to school. We were looking good! As we made our way down the hall I could hear people giggling as we passed, my confidence was slowly fading. Ducking into the nearest bathroom we then realized why they were giggling, I had a great big plastic Mt. Dew wrapper, the kind on 2-liter bottles stuck to my rear.

Snow on the Car

Over Christmas vacation I was grounded from driving my car because I had broke curfew one evening. A couple of days after Christmas Day, me and two of my friends were so bored and the mall was having way good sales, sales so good it would have been a crime for us to miss. My parents had taken my car keys away but they forgot about my spare set. They both were at work and would never know. After a few hours of shopping we arrived back to my house with plenty of time to spare. Except there were tire tracks in the snow because the driveway hadn’t been shoveled. So we got out the shovels and quickly shoveled the entire driveway. Just as we are finished I realize my car had been covered with snow before I had taken it out, so we started shoveling snow on to the car, trying to level it off with a yard stick. After all that I was “busted” anyway. My parents said they knew I had taken the car out because I wouldn’t have shoveled the driveway just for the “fun” of it.

The Phone Call

I was talking on the phone one day when this girl I don’t really like called on the other line. I told her I would call her back later. I thought I had pushed the button to hang up with her and finish the phone call I was on before she called. Thinking I was back to my original phone call I said, “That was Lisa, god she bugs me”! And then silence. It was Lisa still on the line.